Like most Americans I have money problems. I have bad money problems. If you have been following my blog or know me, then you are aware I am now receiving social security disability benefits. I am so grateful for my mental illness to finally be recognized as a disability, but I am not making it. I make less than $1,000 a month and my expenses are more than I bring in.
Hmmm… So you might say, “well dumbass, lower your expenses!” I don’t go out, I don’t buy clothes or anything fun. Hell, I don’t even pay for drugs. Do you want to know where my money goes? FOOD! I’m not even talking about good food. I’m talking about cheap food. When I started getting disability my food stamps were lowered to $17 a month. I’m not even kidding. What am I going to do with that?? It’s no wonder why people hustle and commit fraud. They’re starving to death!
My therapist and I discussed going to various food banks around town and it’s looking like I’m going to have to. I don’t want to, but I don’t really have a choice. It’s not what you may think either. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of needing assistance. It’s people. The simple act of being in the presence of people, freaks me the fuck out. You never know who you will encounter anywhere but you can bet on running into really annoying people at the food bank. The volunteers are usually cool, it’s everyone else that freaks me out. I don’t understand why poverty turns people into ignorant idiots. Stress? That must be it. They can’t handle any more bullshit, especially logic entering their brains. Alas, I must eat for survival purposes so I am going to brave the food bank. (I did not intend for those statements to be judgemental in any way, I just dislike human interaction occasionally. So what!)
My therapist also suggested going to several food banks but I think that he has a lot of pent up anger toward poverty stricken people himself and really just wants me to kill people. That is the only reasonable explanation to why he would suggest something so obviously ludacras Doesn’t he listen to me whine and bitch about people on a weekly basis? You would think he would know better to than to suggest such a thing. He is not thinking about anyone’s safety here. Hahaha, he needs therapy.
I will figure all of this out I’m sure, I always do, but damn it I’m so tired of living this way. It would be so cool if someone invented a pill you could take every day that would immediately eliminate the need for food. Think about how many problems that would solve. That’s a bee in your little inventors bonnet I will just give you for free because that’s the kind of poverty level citizen I am. The nice and crazy kind. The best kind in my opinion.
Ok, I’m rambling. My brain is full, I’m stressed, and so I’m ending this before I become an ignorant idiot. All I can think about now is inventors wearing bonnets… Fuck my life.
Inside My Manic Mind 